Pornography has been around for a long time, with hundreds of erotic murals and sculptures found in the ruins of Mount Vesuvius in Pompeii. With the advent of new communications, pornography has been transformed, improved and spread more widely. The evidence is that since the advent of the Internet, the use of porn films has skyrocketed.
Currently, there are at least 4.5 million porn sites on the web, and more than 64,000 new visitors visit Pornhub every minute – a popular platform for sexual content.
No matter how parents know how my child is watching porn – whether by watching their browsing history, or caught them watching porn, you could have some negative reactions. This is understandable, but do not let these negative emotions affect how you react, guide and buildyour relationship with your children in the future. Don’t get in the trap other parents did!
In this article, we’ll show you what to do when my child is watching porn with 3 simple but effective steps.
4-step response when my child is watching porn
Stay calm
Sexual curiosity is a natural part of your child’s development, and so don’t yell at them just because they are questioning sex and gender. Sometimes children questions about sex/gender simply because their parents don’t give them the answers they need or lectures at school are not effective enough, they have to find the answers for themselves. Looking at the problem from different perspectives parents!
Once discovered, your child may feel embarrassed, upset, or scared. This is something every child will feel, but how you, as a parent react can make a big difference.
Instead of making your child feel like they’ve done something wrong or have done something extremely serious, make sure you approach them calmly. This will help them feel more at ease when they open up and listen.
Instead of assuming your child is spoiled, see this as an opportunity for you to talk and discuss gender topics with your child. You may need to update yourself with some basic gender terms or how to talk about sensitive problems effectively.
Have a positive conversation about why porn is bad
Now is a good time to start talking about porn. Pornography is one of those sensitive issues that need to be addressed as soon as possible especially when your child begins to use the Internet.
Many parents think that this kind of conversation will rob their child of innocence, but in fact, talking is one of the best ways to protect your child from the impact of pornography on their development.
Listen and be open to what your child says. If your child has questions, it’s best to answer briefly and honestly and don’t make up the answers if you don’t know the answer.
According to Miranda Horvath, a sex researcher and professor of psychology at Middlesex University, if parents start teaching children about equality and respect when they are 5 or 6 years old when they come across porn. As a teen, they will be able to recognize the disrespect and emotion that pornography brings.
In addition to explaining pornography and its harm to your child, you can also explain to your child what is appropriate and inappropriate content for your child to see, how pornography harms your child, and teach your child the negative effects of pornography as described below.
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Teach them the negative effects of pornography
Watching pornography normalizes sexual harm
Research shows that media has the ability to significantly impact viewers’ perception, especially children. When your child with harmful content such as violent content, gender stereotypes and most importantly pornography, your child’s worldview will suffer, increasing your child’s perspective of engaging in high-risk behaviors and negatively change their perception of what good and sustainable relationships are with people.
The proof is that Dr. Sharon Cooper, a forensic pediatrician and lecturer at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine, has confirmed that the image will certainly affect children. And in this case, your child will be strongly influenced by harmful sexual images from pornography.
What is the influence? Pornographic content normalizes sexual harm by portraying a lack of intimate relationships between partners, unprotected sex, and, in some cases, violence and rape.
Your child is at an age more susceptible to what he sees and exposes to the outside world because neurons reflected in the brain are developing. These neurons play an important role in the way your child learns. Your child learns for the most part by mimicking, with reflective neurons involved in observing what others do and imitating those behaviors.
That is why, compared to adults, they are more susceptible to pornography negative effects when it convinces your child that they are actually experiencing what they see.
Effects of pornography: Pornography makes your child aggressive towards women
A 2009 analysis of pornography and violence against women found a significant relationship between watching pornography and advocate attitudes toward violence against women. A 2001-2004 survey of middle and high schools found that 76% of people who commit some form of sexual harassment regularly watch pornography.
The aggression and violence against women found in most popular pornography can teach your children (especially boys) that aggression towards women is socially tolerated and accepted to be hostile towards women.
Since then, pornography causes your child to lose their sensitivity and empathy for women and instead your child will see women as a sexual tool. This is evident in porn films where male actors exhibit such a lack of empathy towards women that sexual abuse in these films is completely normal.
Negative effects of watching porn: Misperceptions about your body image
Many teens think that Internet pornography actually has a negative impact on how they perceive their bodies. In boys, they are apprehensive about penis size and anxious about not having a muscular body to attract girls. Meanwhile, girls worry about not having big breasts, big butt or body curves to be attractive in front of their boyfriends.
Also, your child thinks that boys will judge their bodies based on the standards of porn actors. Emotions like lack of confidence, emptiness, low self-esteem, and helplessness are also clearly the side effects of Internet pornography. Your child will most likely lose a sense of self-control, making himself weak and helpless in the face of big and small problems.
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Effects of porn on the brain are extremely serious
Pornography, like the drug, is a major stimulant that leads to an abnormally high release of dopamine. This can damage the dopamine reward system and prevent it from responding to natural sources of pleasure like eating good stuff, hanging out with friends. Consequently, children will have little or no pleasure in doing what they enjoy.
Changes in the release of dopamine can lay the foundation for depression and anxiety. Some studies suggest that adolescents who regularly access pornography experience more depressive symptoms, lower quality of life, and poor mental health than children who don’t watch porn.
Meanwhile, when watching pornography, children increasingly choose to use more violent forms of pornography; This can be due to the desensitization of regular sex film consumption.
During adulthood, especially in adolescence, the prefrontal cortex is still underdeveloped during this period. This is why your child struggles to adjust to his or her emotions and impulses. Damage to the prefrontal cortex during adulthood is called a decrease in cerebral blood flow in the prefrontal cortex.
It is also a symptom of schizophrenia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), bipolar disorder and depressive disorder, causing your child to behave compulsively and make poor decisions.
Use content filtering tools
Talking is one of the best ways to help your child proactively stay away from porn, but don’t be subjective either as they can be very curious (especially when you’re not around).
After openly talking about this sensitive issue, your need to proactively take advantage of technology to protect kids from porn. Why? Because porn is inherently addictive, only a few times watching, your child is likely to “indulge” in pornography.
Due to the vulnerable nature of children’s brains, it’s important to protect your child from pornography and have tools designed to do just that.
To ensure your child’s online environment is safe and healthier, you should consider using an additional online content filtering tool – considered by many parents as one of the best free parental control software to hide 15 types of harmful content on the Internet, including:
- Pornography
- Horrifying content like gore, accidents, ghosts, violence, murder, terrorism, etc
- Content about stimulants, addictive substances such as alcohol, beer, marijuana, drugs, etc
- Content with aggressive elements, hurting others like Hate speech
This free porn blocker extension can help to minimize your child’s access to harmful content, ensuring a healthy online environment for your child but at the same time, not invading their privacy rights.
Wise modern parents are always proactive in bringing the best for their children. To better protect your child from all porn sites, for all internet-connected devices your child use, you should pre-order Wifi Device, becoming the first parents to own the solution which 24/7 protects your kids from harmful websites. Best prices are always available for early birds!
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