According to previous studies, especially for boys, frequently watching pornography is strongly associated with having more sexual partners, unsafe sex behaviors, high use of stimulants and drugs as well as drinking more alcohol. And there are more serious consequences than that. Something that you think your child would never do, but are you sure?
This article will help parents have a deeper perspective on the lifelong problem of my son is watching porn – because the problem is more serious than parents usually think.
Your son’s exposure to internet pornography has never been so easy
Decades ago, when the Internet was not widely available, boys would often read pornographic magazines like Playboy – a sign that shows their sexual awakening in their teens. However, exposure to internet pornography nowadays isn’t what it used to be – it’s a lot easier. With a few clicks, your son can access millions of sex sites of humiliation, torture, rape, sadism and bestiality.
With the advent of the Internet, there’s no need for a 12-year-old boy to risk himself standing at a corner store trying to buy a sexy magazine or sneaking a peek at Playboy with friends. Instead, boys can access an endless trove of pornography, anytime, in the privacy of their room.
Conclusion: because pornography is so widespread and pervasive, appearing even on sites that have nothing to do with porn, your son has never been at such a high risk of exposure to Internet pornography.
Why do boys watch porn more than girls?
It is a fact that your son watches a lot of porn – online porn, videos, cable TV, magazines and virtual reality games. Besides, boys aged 12-17 are among the biggest consumers of pornography. This is quite understandable since this is the age of your child’s puberty.
A series of gender studies have determined that men tend to be more visual and more easily attracted to visual images. The researchers also argue that having your son sexually aroused by female shapes and positions is directly related to our mating behavior and the spread and survival of our species. To date, there is no complete scientific report that demonstrates a direct correlation between pornography and criminal behavior or pornography and an increase in sexual assaults in general.
However, no direct correlation does not confirm that there is no indirect correlation. In other words, my son is watching porn – too much porn and at the wrong age can lead to other consequences, which in turn lead to more serious consequences than criminal acts.
You probably understand by now why it’s perfectly normal for your son to get excited over sexually suggestive images and there’s no evidence to suggest that porn will turn your son to become sex deviant, why should we worry?
My son is watching porn – The problem is more serious than parents usually think!
Curiosity about sex and turning to porn to relieve that curiosity is normal during puberty, however, if viewing pornography has become a driving force in your son’s life – your child wants and needs to see it often – then this is not at all normal.
You should be concerned because watching porn can seriously affect your son’s sexual maturity. Below are some examples:
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Inappropriate attitudes and acts of violence against women
Your son is very likely to be negatively impacted by porn because pornography primarily teaches (in a misleading way) your son about sex and women. Aggression and violence against women are reflected in much of today’s popular pornography where male actors display such a lack of empathy towards women that sexual abuse is completely normal.
These images can make your son understand that aggressive behavior toward women is socially acceptable and even hostile towards women.
In other words, pornography shows that girls and women want and enjoy being sexually used, dominated, and humiliated by men. It will encourage your son to “objectify” women, viewing them as toys that exist solely for male sexual gratification with absolutely no tenderness, concern, or love for true relationships that are required in real life.
As a result, exposure to Internet pornography causes your child to lose sensitivity and empathy for women, with the risk of severely reducing his or her healthy psychological development. The studies on sexual content and violence above indicate that adolescents accept, learn from, and are able to imitate the behaviors depicted in porn which they regard as acceptable and attractive.
Are these the values and attitudes you want your son to have about sex and women?
A lower level of sexual satisfaction
A 2015 study of men’s online pornography viewing activities found that 20.3% said they watched porn to maintain arousal with a partner. In other words, exposure to internet pornography may cause your child to have a higher sex drive, but lower overall sex and relationship satisfaction.
In a meta-analysis, there was a negative relationship between frequent pornography watching and your child’s level of satisfaction with sex and other romantic relationships. This means that the more porn your child watches, the less happy and fulfilled he or she feels in relationships with other people.
Make your child feel negative about his or her body image
Many of the adolescents in the study thought that pornography actually negatively impacts their perception of their bodies. For boys, this mostly revolves around penis size, although some also report feeling worried about not being strong enough and muscular enough to attract girls.
Risk of addiction to pornography
Totally uncontrolled porn viewing can flare from a mere curiosity to an Internet search into a serious addiction. Chemically, dopamine is the basis of this addictive behavior. Dopamine is a feel-good brain chemical that is the reward for doing the things that will help us survive and succeed in life.
When large amounts are released too quickly, addiction occurs. Since the brain can’t immediately process high levels of dopamine, it builds a wall of tolerance for pornography. This could mean either less dopamine being released or that the dopamine being released has less function.
This leads to the story that your child is pushed to watch more porn or to watch more eccentric and violent porn to get the same thrill as the first time.
How can you protect your son from watching pornography?
Talk openly with your child about sensitive issues
The effects of pornography on children’s brains go beyond their negative effects on adult brains. So sex education for children shouldn’t just be left to schools and teachers, it’s important that you actively participate and teach your children about healthy relationships, love and gender.
Pornography is one of those sensitive issues that need to be discussed. Many parents think that talking like this will “erase” their child’s innocence, but in fact, talking is one of the best ways to protect your child from the effects of pornography.
So now may be a good time to start talking about pornography, if you haven’t already. In addition to explaining pornography and its harm to your child, you can share things like letting your child know what’s appropriate and inappropriate for them to see and instructing them on what to do if they see pornographic content.
Discussing gender and sexuality is one of the most difficult discussions you will have with your children. But isn’t it better to have these discussions, even admitting to your son that you are somewhat uncomfortable talking to him about pornography than to let the porn actors “decide” your son’s healthy development?
Actively educate children about sex
Don’t blame, shame, or condemn your son just because he’s curious and excited by porn. And don’t ignore it and let your child satisfy his or her own sexual curiosity by looking for pornography on their own. Don’t let it get in the way of your son’s sex education.
Parents (in some cases, it’s easier for fathers) should tell their sons how pornography humiliates women, just as it does humiliate a child’s own sister and mother. Let your son hear from his father and mother that
sex is the development of a loving, committed, respectful relationship, not a forum for men to satisfy themselves and exploitation of women.
Use Internet content filtering software
This is one of the most practical ways on how to keep your child safe online. Porn is inherently addictive, so only a few times watching, your child is likely to “indulge” in pornography. Therefore, you should proactively protect your children by using CyberPurify Kids, a harmful content filtering tool to prevent billions of harmful content from reaching your children, protecting the healthy online environment for them. It is important that this tool:
- Protect your kids on every browser they use
- Not just a porn blocker, it filters horrifying content like accidents, murders, extreme violence, etc.
- Respect your child’s online privacy: filter and hide only harmful content, but don’t read your child’s messages, calls or social media
- It’s FREE and you can easily download it as a browser add-on.
We also have articles on how to block porn sites on Mac, Windows 10 that you might need.
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